I, too, met Kate on a September morning nearly 27 years ago. We were both entering St. Rose Grammar School as new students about to tackle the seventh grade, and more dauntingly we were facing off against a pack of uniformed 12-year olds who had seemingly known each other from birth. Unfortunately for me that was where our similarities seemed to end. By 1985 Kate was already beautiful, poised, witty, and over 5-feet tall. I was not. As Bridget so eloquently wrote a few weeks ago, Kate made this transition appear effortless, and as I think back to my first days on that playground I am blessed to have the indelible images of her gorgeous smile serve as my most vivid memory. It can be written now with a sense of inevitability that within two short years Kate would go on to be named "Most Popular" by her eighth grade peers, but I believe this accomplishment was indicative of how she would live the rest of her life. Kate, though endowed with an abundance of exceptional attributes, warmly welcomed all people into her life, treated them with kindness, and left them somehow better for having met her.
A "Peace" of Kate: "Character & Beauty" Written by Kate's Best Friend, Michelle Lyons
/I met Kate almost 20 years ago, as she (and Marta) were peeking out the window in Bay Head, ready to approve/disapprove, as I picked up her brother Ed for our first date. Over the years we became the closest of friends. Kate was the type of person who always made you feel special or important. No matter where you were or what you were doing, it was the best place to be, and the best thing to do. She would make you laugh when you wanted to cry . . . even if it meant doing something silly or ridiculous to ensure your laughter and change of mood.
One thing that was so important to me, and always stands out in my mind, is how she handled knowledge of a tragedy that had occurred in my life years before I met her… the passing of my brother Jeff. I remember her asking detailed questions about him and what he was like. This did not stop with the initial inquiry, but rather continued through many phases of my life. Kate would ask at different times of my life, “I wonder what Jeff would say” or “I wonder what Jeff would think of this”. I can’t explain how special that was and how much it meant to me. They say that “character” is doing the right thing when nobody is looking. I think that is a trait that truly describes Kate. This is just another positive attribute to confirm that as beautiful as she was, it was not nearly the best part of her.
Miss her always,
Michelle
A "Peace" of Kate: "Click "Like" if you wish Heaven had a phone!" Written by Marta Fiordelisi Suhocki
/I guess to share a Peace of Kate, you would need to hear a little bit of how we met...I can remember it like it was yesterday. It started off as a typical 7th grade morning, mom kicking us out of the house, brothers in tow, making what should have been seconds to the bus stop seem like an eternity...we continue walking and I look up ahead at a brown station wagon parked at the bus stop. Eventually, this late 80's wagon would become pretty famous and would be renamed the "Shea-wagan." It also became our means of transportation throughout high school. Now, I see some lady (forgive me, Mrs. Shea) frantically waving her hands, pig tails popping up from the back seat, a dog barking with excitement, some feety pajamas, two other high school aged kids (that's a story for another day) and a tall girl about my age, wearing a long jean jacket and a pony tail on the top of her head, getting out of the car. I just figured someone missed the bus again, but it wasn't anything like that at all. The girl walked up to me, introduced herself and said, "Hi, I'm Katie." It was then that my day ended up being not so typical nor would be my life, after that.
I really can't define one moment or one memory that was significant in our relationship because I would be here all day writing this. The time that I was lucky enough to have with Kate was always a special moment. She was kind to everyone, she was funny, goofy, and she was a sister to me. The car rides, St. Rose, Farmingdale, kitchen table talks with her family, Smoke and Josie (two of her many cats), Harris St. Bay Head, JL stops, trip to Cali, and so on...but one of the most interesting and funny times with Kate was our trip to NYC.
Mr. Shea was kind enough to get us tickets to an off Broadway play, I think it was called Gypsy Passion. Now, if you know the Shea's, one of the many stipulations that they put out there for Kate was to have me stay over on weekends, that and church on Sunday. So, we go to the play, we get our seats and we already have some reservations of what to expect, hence the name, regardless, we were excited. The lights go down and people start clapping and it's not the people in the seats, but the people on stage. They were clapping, clapping, clapping and clapping for two hours straight, that's it! I just remember Kate looking at Erin and I like what the hell is going on here??? It was that moment and so many laugh out loud moments that Kate and I shared that I cherish. I can see the expression on her face....And I miss that. Kate was so much to so many people, and MB was right, it does hurt to talk about her a little. Sometimes, I just want to pick up the phone and hear her voice on the other end, and It sucks that it's not...I really wish heaven had a phone...
I think what helped me heal was the start of the Kate Shea Foundation, and the Bay Head 5K Memory Run by her family and friends. It is this and the gift of dreams that keeps her memory with me, just as I remembered Kate in them... Fun, Young, Beautiful and Free from cancer!
Love you, Girl!
Marta Fiordelisi Suhocki
"We Were Children Together" by Bridget Smith
/I was 11 she was 12; one of a few new classmates sitting anxiously in a chair clicking a pen and shaking her leg. I first met Kate when she was referred to at Kati or Katie Shea or “the new hot girl” by every boy in our class – on the 1st day of 7th grade at St. Rose Grammar School back in 1985.
Although she sported a pleated two-feet-too-long hideous brown plaid uniform skirt (like the rest of us) and hair styled much like this hopeful contestant Wendy from “My Feathered Hair” contest (click here for visual http://imgs.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/parenting/2011/08/29/feathered_wendy_one350x487.jpg), Kate seemed to have a verbal edge by throwing comebacks in a room full of newbies… I decided to take her under my wing. After all, being at a new school was intimidating- I learned this same lesson when I had transferred to same school in 2nd grade.
After that first day of Mrs. Spanarkel class (aka Spanky), we completely hit it off. She also scored major points for instantly telling me apart from twin my sister, Julie. A feat that even the principal after 6 years in her office hadn’t yet mastered. I quickly told her if she truly wanted to fit-in she had to push her socks down, pop her peach blouse collar, roll her polyester sweater sleeves up and most importantly surrender her purple vent brush for me to comb my newly Sun Inned locks. She quickly retorted, “What the hell is this? The Pink Ladies”? “She spoke my language - psyched to have this new friend “Grease is the word!” I quickly introduced her to other Pink Ladies and from that day it was decided that our classmates would know Kate Shea, Stef Hopps, Christina Vaccaro and Bridget Gannon as “The Friendly 4”.
Who likes Sean this week? Who is borrowing who’s Firenza sweater? How many shades of Wet n Wild eyeliner and Silver City Pink Lipstick we could get away with wearing under the nose of the late sister Margaret Mary who was too busy "picking " her own to notice? Who had the daily record on Capri smoke rings? Who could get us the best grade on Mrs. Leonhardt’s English test? Kate could date all Sean’s 7A and 7B, rock a striped cardigan, get thrown out of Sear’s for stealing lipstick, blow smoke in the girls’ room and up the nun’s habit in a day’s work.
Most folks remember Kate’s unhealthy infatuation with Richie Sambora and all things Bon Jovi – yet she also had a soft spot for musical theatre… another reason why we got along so well. At lunch recess everyday, Stef and I would teach Christina and Kate all of the songs that we knew which spanned Mary Poppins – Momma’s and the Papa’s. We produced, choreographed, and performed a daily routine for our classmates out on the blacktop–- adding variety by switching lyrics with swear words and phrases that rhymed with the infamous name” Jeckadon”. This is a picture of one of our fine moments singing “Were Doin’ A Show...” notice the boys trying to pick up our amazing moves. That’s left to right: Christina, Stef, Kate and me (Scott and Josh). Kate is wearing her beloved denim women’s Deb Joy blazer-I think she wore this everyday as a winter coat for 18 months.
Kate lived in Farmingdale, which to a bunch of unlicensed tweenagers seemed like it may as well have been Pennsylvania. But she and her family always were very welcoming to us. We spent weekends for the next 2 years rotating sleeping over the 4 of our houses. Hanging out, torturing each other about guys, shopping for the latest 1980’s trends - we looked so rad in our stacked multi-color wigwams, stretch minis and boots. sneaking booze on the 8th grade trip, torturing Booger at the Bradley Beach movie theatre, waiting for Kate’s mom to pick us up in the schwaggon at Don’s Pizza King, getting ready for countless dances, playing truth or dare with all of the boys at The Vaccaro’s house, going to endless soccer games, dancing to Zip Zappity Zoom at the annual Christmas play, kickin it at Welsh Farms, babysitting Timmy and Meg Shea, taking verbal beatings from brother Ed, listening to Kate idolize over her older “ little” sister Erin – Kate was tall and Erin is like a pixie and engaging in random conversation with Mayor Ray Shea and the Suz.
Ah the memories... I would go on into my high school years, but I‘ve got wrap this up as it’s after 11pm, I’m 38 years old and Kate, your brother Ed is still calling me a hooker for not getting this entry to him last night!
Don’t go changin’ to impress anyone in heaven
M-A-R-A-N-A-T-H-A
Bridget
